I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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