Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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