She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
