Betty ford says i'm here all night
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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