Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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