the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
