I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
