I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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