I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
