Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize