Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize