I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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