Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sober January is a disaster.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
