I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
