All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
