Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
