TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
