Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
