I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
