"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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