obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
