umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
