You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
