You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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