how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
