i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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