Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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