I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
