The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
