she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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