so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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