They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
