I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
