you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
