her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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