im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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