I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
