I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
