the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My pussy is not your playground.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
