I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
