please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My balls are so social today.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
