I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
