I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
