Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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