So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
