so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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