Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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