I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
