these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
