When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
