I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
