You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
