I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
