Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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