i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
