So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
