I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
