if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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