are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
