if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
