i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
