he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
