I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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