It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
