That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize